Divorce column – January 2026

Divorce – Matters of Power, Control and Abuse
Family solicitors are increasingly dealing with separations in circumstances involving patterns of controlling, manipulative or emotionally abusive behaviour. These cases cut across all backgrounds and are far more common than many people realise.
Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse and coercive control often leave no visible marks. They may involve persistent belittling, gaslighting, isolation from friends or family, financial restriction, monitoring of movements or the gradual erosion of a person’s confidence and self-belief. Victims may begin to doubt their own perceptions, minimise what is happening, or feel incapable of making decisions without fear of repercussions.
The law now recognises coercive and controlling behaviour as a serious and harmful form of abuse. It is not about occasional arguments; it is characterised not by conflict but by dominance. Further, such abuse does not always end when the relationship does. In some relationships the control continues and might even escalate after separation – played out through children, finances, relentless communication or the manipulation of the legal processes – perhaps by causing delay or refusal to engage constructively.
There has also been a marked increase in cases involving extreme levels of self-focus, lack of accountability, narrative shifting and refusal to compromise — behaviours often associated with narcissistic traits. While ‘narcissism’ is not a legal expression the associated conduct frequently presents very real challenges in resolving financial or child-related arrangements. These behaviours can make achieving negotiated outcomes extremely difficult and turn otherwise straightforward divorces into prolonged disputes.
Not every difficult breakup is abusive, of course. However, where fear, imbalance of power or psychological harm are present, approaches that assume equality between the parties are likely to be inappropriate and ineffective. In these circumstances a firmer and more robust approach is likely to be required to address and manage the imbalance of power and dominance at play.
Early legal advice can be critical in these cases. Identifying controlling behaviour at an early stage helps ensure that the right approach is adopted from the outset.
If you feel you may need family law advice, we can help.