Divorce Column May 2025

Understanding Coercive Behaviour
Coercive behaviour in a relationship is a form of domestic abuse. It has a definition and is defined as an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.
It can be used by one person against another to dominate, manipulate and control the other. It can be used to influence how a person behaves. It can take many forms and be deeply harmful. It is a psychological tactic by the perpetrator and in many cases doesn’t involve any physical violence but for the victim it can be just as damaging.
Coercive behaviour can be subtle or overt. It can be used to isolate you by restricting who you may contact or spend time with, friends or family. It can take the form of dictating what you wear, telling you what to eat, what you can or can’t do and it can escalate into humiliating and degrading you, putting you down or guilt-tripping and gaslighting.
Coercive behaviour can also take the form of financial control. What may appear as one party looking after the finances may in fact be them controlling the finances. Such control could come as insisting that your income is paid into a joint account, requiring you to share your login details for online banking, restricting or preventing your access to money and making important financial decisions without your consent or involvement.
It could also take the form of constant monitoring. Demanding access to your personal devices, checking messages and tracking movements.
If you recognise any of this in your relationship then you may be the victim of coercive control and in which event you may wish to consider seeking help and support. If you would be looking to leave the coercive situation then you should seek legal advice with respect to exiting the relationship.
For expert advice and assistance regarding separation, divorce or other relationship breakdown and related matters please get in touch – we have considerable experience advising, guiding and supporting clients in these scenarios.